GOD'S COVERING HAND OF GRACE...

Well, in a couple of weeks, it will be a year since Ron has died. This picture I posted, sums my life up kind of in a nutshell. GOD has shown me everyone of these statements to be true. When I didn't have it GOD had someone else to show it to me. GOD IS SO GOOD!! I do not deserve the mercy and the grace that he covers me and my family with on a daily and some days minute by minute basis.

O God,thou art my GOD;early will I seek thee:my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land,where no water is;
To see thy power and thy glory,so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary.
Because thy lovingkindness is better than life,my lips shall praise thee.
Thus will I bless thee while I live:I will lift up my hands in thy name.
Psalms 63 1-4

I have faced many demons this year and still do on a daily basis. I was thinking just a little while ago that I haven't really lived this year..I have survived. Part of me died that day that Ron did, I don't know what it's name was but it had a name because it hurt when it left me.It still hurts but most days I can trudge on throught the pain. This is grief and I know that I have JESUS right there holding my hand. I know where Ron is and for that I will always be grateful. To know where Ron was and to see where GOD took him in such a short time..WHOOOOO!! MAKES ME WANT TO CLEAR OFF A SPOT AND HAVE A SPELL!! GOD IS SO GOOD!! He continues to be good. I will see Ron again someday. We will get to worship and sing praises to our KING. I am a CHILD OF THE KING. Even through all the heartache and the struggles, GOD IS WITH ME, SO WHO CAN BE AGAINST ME!!!!!

AH!!!!! Summer

This is a picture of Ron's cabbage last year. I am not planting cabbage this year, I am not planting corn this year..in fact my garden looks a lot different this year.One thing that is still in my garden is Ron's spirit. I am so sorry it has been so long since I have posted. Kids, therapy..Life has happened!! lol
I was making my coffee this morning and as I was looking out the kitchen window, I saw the bird feeder,our chipmunks and our family of rabbits. I have a country zoo right here in downtown Mayland!! lol I could feel GOD this morning. I have worked all day in my little garden. I have a new phone so as soon as I get the bugs worked out, I will post some pictures. My little garden may have a new face but the same spirit is still there. It is funny, we are kind of the same way. It doesn't matter if we change the exterior, if the interior is still dirty and polluted, then it is still the same.

  JESUS LOVES ME THIS I KNOW!!!

Perspective....

Sometimes in life when trials occur, whether it be a bad trial or a devastating one, we are tested. How we handle the trial that is unfolding before us, is what the world sees. As a christian, the world should see us giving the trial to the lord and letting him handle it. That is real easy to say and extremely hard to do sometimes.
As you all know, this season of my life is due to my trial of grief. I have had a couple of extremely hard weeks. I have been really depressed. I could say it's because of the summer, it's because Ron's 1 year anniversary is coming up or anything else but the truth is satan has been attacking me. When he can't get me, he works on my kids but I serve the one who can protect, I serve a mighty redeemer and I know all will be well. Connor is doing so much better. When we stick to his diet and he takes his supplements and we stick to a daily schedule. My life is a lot calmer. Savannah is growing up too fast. I wish their daddy hadn't had to die. I will never know why but I know the one who has the answers.So, it is a matter of how you look at your trial. Yes, I still mourn my husband daily. Yes, I cry at the thought of him. Yes, I often wonder and cry out to GOD why Ron had to die but even among all of that....I GIVE MY GOD PRAISE. RON WAS A SINNER, LOST, GOING TO HELL IF HE DIED. GOD SAVED MY HUSBAND. MY HUSBAND WAS A DRUG ADDICT FOR MANY YEARS. SO IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND YOU DON'T KNOW THE LORD AS YOUR PERSONAL SAVIOR AND YOU THINK YOU HAVE BEEN TOO BAD TO SAVE!! I PROMISE YOU NO ONE IS TOO BAD TO SAVE. I love the Lord!!!! When I am at my lowest, he is at his highest. GOD HAS MANY NAMES......ONE DAY I WILL BE ABLE TO SING ALL OF THEM TO THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE. For now, I will sing Glory to his name........

Children are small only for a minute.....

I saw this on Facebook earlier and it made me think of my own children. Satan throws a lot of doubt darts as I like to call them at me and my family, especially at me. I doubt sometimes whether I am doing any good at homeschooling the children, I doubt sometimes that I am not providing the things they need in life and I doubt that I am doing a very good job at being a good parent. Then I think back on the other day....
Connor and I were sitting in my room and he wanted to be a curious little boy and look through my jewelry. He would ask me where I got this and where I got that and I would tell him and his eyes would light up with wide eye curiosity. I have a pair of ,pearl earrings that my sister Alisha brought me back from her trip to china and they are in a little pink bag. Connor saw the bag and said"Momma, I wish you would put these earrings on, you look really pretty with these on!!" It was all I could do not to start crying. He just had that beautiful look of child like innocence on his face. Where he loves his Mommy and all is right in the world because of it. I know that I fail daily but the really beautiful thing about being a CHILD OF THE KING is that I am picked up and WASHED ANEW DAILY AND MY SINS ARE FORGIVEN!!! I know, that I know, that I know that I am absolutely doing the right thing homeschooling my children. This year has been rough but WE HAVE SURVIVED AND WE ARE STRONGER FOR IT!!! I have survived by the GRACE OF GOD ALMIGHTY!!! I know that I am being a good parent because I teach my children about the Lord and I teach them to live by his example. I want to lead by example!!!! The Bible tells us that we are to be part of the world but not in the world. This is a delicate and invisible line to navigate.The Bible also tells us that we are to be salt and light to the world. If we were to grade ourselves, How well are we doing at any of the things we are supposed to be doing?  I want my children to have a relationship with the Lord before anything else. GOD IS SO GOOD!!!

Yes, children are a lot of work and they are really aggravating sometimes but they are only small for a minute, so cherish the beautiful responsibility that we have been blessed with and hold onto it, no matter how you were blessed with it, for dear life. It is fleeting and it lasts only a minute and then they are grown and that beautiful little hand stroking your cheek saying"Mommy, I love you, You would look so pretty wearing this!!" is gone and nothing more than a precious memory. So hold on tight....Children are small only for a minute!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lonely Mother's Day!!!!!!!!!

Today has been a really hard day. This has been my first Mother's Day without Ron. As I was sitting in church this morning, I was remembering Mother's Day last year. I remember sitting on the pew next to my husband, next to the man that I had prayed for years to give his life to the Lord, the man who was the father of my children and all I could do was beam with pride to have him sitting next to me in church. I know that he is sitting next to his mom in heaven attending the church of the KING. He is glorifying the father and all I can think of is how far GOD brought him and where he took Ron. Ron is saved and I know that one day I will see him again but I am human and I do miss him.
Savannah made me the prettiest card this morning. I am so blessed for my children. I really hate it that they are missing out on having their dad here and I know they don't understand now but one day they will.

Mini Vacation!!!!

My sister Mckinsey, me and all the kids went on a little mini vacation earlier this week. We had a friend that had rented a cabin in Gatlinburg who wanted us to come up for a visit.

We all went up and decided to go to the WonderWorks museum in Pigeon Forge. The kids absolutely loved it!!!             

The outside is so COOL!!!

This is the ceiling or is it?

This is the painting behind the stairs.

I was so PROUD of Connor. He laid on the BED OF NAILS!!!

Patience vs Progress

I love this picture. It shows the Joy that GOD can bring. I have been doing pretty good the last couple of weeks. I am so sorry that it has been so long since my last post. I have been really busy with the kids.I have been working in the garden and I am going to show you some pictures of small changes that I have been making to my garden. I am very proud of my garden, because I have planted and cultivated thus far everything that has went into my little garden by the grace of GOD!!! I get very impatient and want everything done NOW!! but by the GRACE OF GOD I must take progress at face value and patiently wait on it.

The tiles I used were ones that I already had.

My garden beds are clean and waiting for seeds!!!

This gives you a complete visual of my garden.