Praising my GOD!!!

I love this quote!! I mean I absolutely love it!!! I sing that song all the time. If you are a Christian, then you have to know without a doubt that there IS POWER IN THE BLOOD!! I have had a really rough week. I am just physically, spiritually and emotionally wore out. It doesn't help that money is always extremely tight, bills are due, etc.. I could go on and on and on!!! lol Satan has been whispering in my ear" You need to go back to work full time, You need to put the kids in public school, You need to stop grieving, it's been long enough!!!" Well you know what my GOD did through all of this sweet nothin whispering? He held me in his loving arms and He whispered even louder and sweeter" Yes, you could go back to work full time but I want you too depend on Me. I am your Husband now and I will provide for you. Your children need you at home during this time of sorrow. All will be well!! Yes, you could put the kids in public school but I want You to raise the children that I blessed you with and not a stranger!! And only You will decide when you have grieved long enough and I will be there every step of this journey!!" I have cried till I honestly didn't think I had any tears left and My Beloved has been here every step of the way. I have grieved till I didn't know what else to do and My Beloved has held me every minute of this journey and I have praised and I HAVE SANG PRAISES TO THE KING AND I HAVE AND STILL DO WORSHIP AN AMAZING GOD!!!

Traveling through the trials!!

I love this quote. I came across it this morning as I was scrolling through Facebook. I thought this fits my life right now. I have had a really crappy week. I have been going through the motions. I have been working in my yard. Taking out flower beds trying to simplify me mowing area. Ron was the one that took care of the yard and I was the one that instructed him where to plant the flowers or put the flower beds. As I am now taking these so called flower beds out, my heart aches to know the work I put my husband through when we could have been doing things as a family instead of planting flower beds. I have been working in my garden all week. I feel like I have been running full blast all week and have gotten no where. It is hard when it is just you. I always have GOD but sometimes I feel so alone. I am being real today. This is how I feel. I know that in the end it will be worth it but boy is it hard gettin there. GOD IS SO GOOD!!!! I treasure these trials for without them I couldn't get on the mountaintop. I may be grumbling and complaining today but inside I know all will be well with my soul eventually. And to top it all off, Wednesday was my wedding anniversary and I completely forgot. I have been so depressed this week. I am better today. I will be even better tomorrow. Like I always say, Grief is a funny animal. It strikes at the oddest times. It takes a while to get over the grieving spell.GOD IS SO
GOOD!!
I have had to take my son to Vanderbilt to see pediatric endocrinology. He is having thyroid issues. They have diagnosed him with a mild form of Albright's like my daughter has. They started him on meds for his thyroid. It evidently just really likes my family.We have been doing a lot of nature related studies due to the beautiful weather we have been having recently.I wish I had a picture but I don't.That is what I am learning as I blog to take more pictures. I have never been a picture taker but now I really do look for moments to capture. I need to get a smartphone but oh well when I get rich I will get one!! lol
I will end with one of my favorite verses in the bible:

Truly my soul waiteth upon God:from him cometh my salvation.
He only is my rock and my salvation;he is my defence;I shall not be greatly moved.
How long will ye imagine mischief against a man?ye shall be slain all of you:as a bowing wall shall ye be, and as a tottering fence.
They only consult to cast him down from his excellency:they delight in lies:they bless with their mouth, but they curse inwardly. Selah. Psalms 62 verses 1-4 KJV

GOD IS SO,SO,SO,SO GOOD!!!!!!

I am so sorry that it has been so long since I have posted a new post. I have been busy trying to get the garden in order, taking care of the kids, etc.. in general life. lol This post is mainly a praise report.

GOD IS SOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD!!!!!
I have been so blessed this week. I have been needing some special products to use to make new recipes and they have been provided to me. I have been provided all my needs this week. I don't know why we worry about anything. GOD provides.  This beautiful weather has me thinking of Ron. I was out in the yard the other day and I was absolutely sure that I saw Ron. Now before anyone thinks that I have really lost it, I know that I didn't really see him.I know it was just a memory but for a few seconds, it was a nice memory. I miss Ron but I know that he is safe with my father.I have been working little bit at a time on my garden. My lettuce is coming up and my lavender is coming up. I am so excited this year about my little garden. It isn't much but it gives me joy and contentment. I truly believe that is all that matters.
I went to Vanderbilt with my son to try and figure out his thyroid issues. The doctor told me that he has a mild form of Albright's. The same genetic disorder that my daughter has. I ask them why it has taken so long for symptoms to crop up and the doctor said because he has a mild case. This disorder is rare. It occurs in 1 in every 200,000 people. Autism is 1 in 88. These are not very good odds indeed but I know someone who can beat all the odds. JESUS CAN!! I KNOW THE ONE WHO CAN HEAL WHEN NO ONE OR NOTHING CAN!!!! JESUS CAN!!

So if you know someone out there who has a special needs child or just a sick child, remember they need your love and above all your prayers.My son is beautiful. MY SON IS AUTISTIC. AUTISM IS PART OF HIM... IT ISN'T WHO HE IS!!!! LEARN TO SEE PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY REALLY ARE AND FOR WHAT THEY CAN REALLY DO.

Memories....

Dealing with Ron's death definitely showed me that I was a lot stronger than I ever thought I could be. I have always been a strong and independent person but there is only so much an individual can take. I realized also that Jesus was oh so closer than I really ever realized. I don't know why it takes such tragedy in our lives for us to realize the depths of the Father's love for us. GOD IS SO GOOD. IN THE GOOD TIMES AND THE BAD!!! I know that I am loved. I am loved by so many people that I could not name them all but from the bottom of my heart, I thank you. I could have never made it through so far this year and I would never have continued to make it.
Today has had me thinking of memories. I met Ron on a July 4th picnic. He was so handsome and he was such a gentlemen. He carried my chair down to where we were going to watch the fireworks and made sure I was comfortable. He was always like that toward me. He took care of me. Ron was old school. He was taught you take care of the women in your life. You think about the needs of others before your own and he usually always did just that!!! Time really does begin to dull the pain of loss. I ache for him in some small way everyday but at least now, I don't think about him everyday. I see him in our children, I see him in the beauty of the things that he has constructed around the house and in the garden. I also see him in the legacy that he left behind. I love my husband and whether I marry again or not, some small part of me will always love him.
As many of you know, Connor is Autistic and he doesn't talk a lot about his dad. We were in the garden the other day and he said"Will you be here when I have my 14th birthday party?" I said"What do you mean will I be here" Connor said"Will you be the d word?" I said" the d word?" Yes like Daddy, Connor stated. I started to put two and two together. He was wanting to know if I was going to be dead like daddy so I couldn't be at his 14th birthday party.Don't ask me why, he began thinking of these things. I pray for him everyday. I have so many unanswered questions about Connor's future. I may not have the answers but I know the one who does have all the answers.I serve a MIGHTY AND GLORIOUS GOD. I SERVE A GOD WHO LOVES ME UNCONDITIONALLY. I SERVE A GOD WHO HOLDS ME IN HIS ARMS AND ALWAYS IS THERE FOR ME.
I know he has great things in store for my precious boy. The key is trying to figure out the combination to Connor's puzzle called Autism!!!!