GOD'S COVERING HAND OF GRACE...

Well, in a couple of weeks, it will be a year since Ron has died. This picture I posted, sums my life up kind of in a nutshell. GOD has shown me everyone of these statements to be true. When I didn't have it GOD had someone else to show it to me. GOD IS SO GOOD!! I do not deserve the mercy and the grace that he covers me and my family with on a daily and some days minute by minute basis.

O God,thou art my GOD;early will I seek thee:my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land,where no water is;
To see thy power and thy glory,so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary.
Because thy lovingkindness is better than life,my lips shall praise thee.
Thus will I bless thee while I live:I will lift up my hands in thy name.
Psalms 63 1-4

I have faced many demons this year and still do on a daily basis. I was thinking just a little while ago that I haven't really lived this year..I have survived. Part of me died that day that Ron did, I don't know what it's name was but it had a name because it hurt when it left me.It still hurts but most days I can trudge on throught the pain. This is grief and I know that I have JESUS right there holding my hand. I know where Ron is and for that I will always be grateful. To know where Ron was and to see where GOD took him in such a short time..WHOOOOO!! MAKES ME WANT TO CLEAR OFF A SPOT AND HAVE A SPELL!! GOD IS SO GOOD!! He continues to be good. I will see Ron again someday. We will get to worship and sing praises to our KING. I am a CHILD OF THE KING. Even through all the heartache and the struggles, GOD IS WITH ME, SO WHO CAN BE AGAINST ME!!!!!

AH!!!!! Summer

This is a picture of Ron's cabbage last year. I am not planting cabbage this year, I am not planting corn this year..in fact my garden looks a lot different this year.One thing that is still in my garden is Ron's spirit. I am so sorry it has been so long since I have posted. Kids, therapy..Life has happened!! lol
I was making my coffee this morning and as I was looking out the kitchen window, I saw the bird feeder,our chipmunks and our family of rabbits. I have a country zoo right here in downtown Mayland!! lol I could feel GOD this morning. I have worked all day in my little garden. I have a new phone so as soon as I get the bugs worked out, I will post some pictures. My little garden may have a new face but the same spirit is still there. It is funny, we are kind of the same way. It doesn't matter if we change the exterior, if the interior is still dirty and polluted, then it is still the same.

  JESUS LOVES ME THIS I KNOW!!!

Perspective....

Sometimes in life when trials occur, whether it be a bad trial or a devastating one, we are tested. How we handle the trial that is unfolding before us, is what the world sees. As a christian, the world should see us giving the trial to the lord and letting him handle it. That is real easy to say and extremely hard to do sometimes.
As you all know, this season of my life is due to my trial of grief. I have had a couple of extremely hard weeks. I have been really depressed. I could say it's because of the summer, it's because Ron's 1 year anniversary is coming up or anything else but the truth is satan has been attacking me. When he can't get me, he works on my kids but I serve the one who can protect, I serve a mighty redeemer and I know all will be well. Connor is doing so much better. When we stick to his diet and he takes his supplements and we stick to a daily schedule. My life is a lot calmer. Savannah is growing up too fast. I wish their daddy hadn't had to die. I will never know why but I know the one who has the answers.So, it is a matter of how you look at your trial. Yes, I still mourn my husband daily. Yes, I cry at the thought of him. Yes, I often wonder and cry out to GOD why Ron had to die but even among all of that....I GIVE MY GOD PRAISE. RON WAS A SINNER, LOST, GOING TO HELL IF HE DIED. GOD SAVED MY HUSBAND. MY HUSBAND WAS A DRUG ADDICT FOR MANY YEARS. SO IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND YOU DON'T KNOW THE LORD AS YOUR PERSONAL SAVIOR AND YOU THINK YOU HAVE BEEN TOO BAD TO SAVE!! I PROMISE YOU NO ONE IS TOO BAD TO SAVE. I love the Lord!!!! When I am at my lowest, he is at his highest. GOD HAS MANY NAMES......ONE DAY I WILL BE ABLE TO SING ALL OF THEM TO THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE. For now, I will sing Glory to his name........

Children are small only for a minute.....

I saw this on Facebook earlier and it made me think of my own children. Satan throws a lot of doubt darts as I like to call them at me and my family, especially at me. I doubt sometimes whether I am doing any good at homeschooling the children, I doubt sometimes that I am not providing the things they need in life and I doubt that I am doing a very good job at being a good parent. Then I think back on the other day....
Connor and I were sitting in my room and he wanted to be a curious little boy and look through my jewelry. He would ask me where I got this and where I got that and I would tell him and his eyes would light up with wide eye curiosity. I have a pair of ,pearl earrings that my sister Alisha brought me back from her trip to china and they are in a little pink bag. Connor saw the bag and said"Momma, I wish you would put these earrings on, you look really pretty with these on!!" It was all I could do not to start crying. He just had that beautiful look of child like innocence on his face. Where he loves his Mommy and all is right in the world because of it. I know that I fail daily but the really beautiful thing about being a CHILD OF THE KING is that I am picked up and WASHED ANEW DAILY AND MY SINS ARE FORGIVEN!!! I know, that I know, that I know that I am absolutely doing the right thing homeschooling my children. This year has been rough but WE HAVE SURVIVED AND WE ARE STRONGER FOR IT!!! I have survived by the GRACE OF GOD ALMIGHTY!!! I know that I am being a good parent because I teach my children about the Lord and I teach them to live by his example. I want to lead by example!!!! The Bible tells us that we are to be part of the world but not in the world. This is a delicate and invisible line to navigate.The Bible also tells us that we are to be salt and light to the world. If we were to grade ourselves, How well are we doing at any of the things we are supposed to be doing?  I want my children to have a relationship with the Lord before anything else. GOD IS SO GOOD!!!

Yes, children are a lot of work and they are really aggravating sometimes but they are only small for a minute, so cherish the beautiful responsibility that we have been blessed with and hold onto it, no matter how you were blessed with it, for dear life. It is fleeting and it lasts only a minute and then they are grown and that beautiful little hand stroking your cheek saying"Mommy, I love you, You would look so pretty wearing this!!" is gone and nothing more than a precious memory. So hold on tight....Children are small only for a minute!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lonely Mother's Day!!!!!!!!!

Today has been a really hard day. This has been my first Mother's Day without Ron. As I was sitting in church this morning, I was remembering Mother's Day last year. I remember sitting on the pew next to my husband, next to the man that I had prayed for years to give his life to the Lord, the man who was the father of my children and all I could do was beam with pride to have him sitting next to me in church. I know that he is sitting next to his mom in heaven attending the church of the KING. He is glorifying the father and all I can think of is how far GOD brought him and where he took Ron. Ron is saved and I know that one day I will see him again but I am human and I do miss him.
Savannah made me the prettiest card this morning. I am so blessed for my children. I really hate it that they are missing out on having their dad here and I know they don't understand now but one day they will.

Mini Vacation!!!!

My sister Mckinsey, me and all the kids went on a little mini vacation earlier this week. We had a friend that had rented a cabin in Gatlinburg who wanted us to come up for a visit.

We all went up and decided to go to the WonderWorks museum in Pigeon Forge. The kids absolutely loved it!!!             

The outside is so COOL!!!

This is the ceiling or is it?

This is the painting behind the stairs.

I was so PROUD of Connor. He laid on the BED OF NAILS!!!

Patience vs Progress

I love this picture. It shows the Joy that GOD can bring. I have been doing pretty good the last couple of weeks. I am so sorry that it has been so long since my last post. I have been really busy with the kids.I have been working in the garden and I am going to show you some pictures of small changes that I have been making to my garden. I am very proud of my garden, because I have planted and cultivated thus far everything that has went into my little garden by the grace of GOD!!! I get very impatient and want everything done NOW!! but by the GRACE OF GOD I must take progress at face value and patiently wait on it.

The tiles I used were ones that I already had.

My garden beds are clean and waiting for seeds!!!

This gives you a complete visual of my garden.

Praising my GOD!!!

I love this quote!! I mean I absolutely love it!!! I sing that song all the time. If you are a Christian, then you have to know without a doubt that there IS POWER IN THE BLOOD!! I have had a really rough week. I am just physically, spiritually and emotionally wore out. It doesn't help that money is always extremely tight, bills are due, etc.. I could go on and on and on!!! lol Satan has been whispering in my ear" You need to go back to work full time, You need to put the kids in public school, You need to stop grieving, it's been long enough!!!" Well you know what my GOD did through all of this sweet nothin whispering? He held me in his loving arms and He whispered even louder and sweeter" Yes, you could go back to work full time but I want you too depend on Me. I am your Husband now and I will provide for you. Your children need you at home during this time of sorrow. All will be well!! Yes, you could put the kids in public school but I want You to raise the children that I blessed you with and not a stranger!! And only You will decide when you have grieved long enough and I will be there every step of this journey!!" I have cried till I honestly didn't think I had any tears left and My Beloved has been here every step of the way. I have grieved till I didn't know what else to do and My Beloved has held me every minute of this journey and I have praised and I HAVE SANG PRAISES TO THE KING AND I HAVE AND STILL DO WORSHIP AN AMAZING GOD!!!

Traveling through the trials!!

I love this quote. I came across it this morning as I was scrolling through Facebook. I thought this fits my life right now. I have had a really crappy week. I have been going through the motions. I have been working in my yard. Taking out flower beds trying to simplify me mowing area. Ron was the one that took care of the yard and I was the one that instructed him where to plant the flowers or put the flower beds. As I am now taking these so called flower beds out, my heart aches to know the work I put my husband through when we could have been doing things as a family instead of planting flower beds. I have been working in my garden all week. I feel like I have been running full blast all week and have gotten no where. It is hard when it is just you. I always have GOD but sometimes I feel so alone. I am being real today. This is how I feel. I know that in the end it will be worth it but boy is it hard gettin there. GOD IS SO GOOD!!!! I treasure these trials for without them I couldn't get on the mountaintop. I may be grumbling and complaining today but inside I know all will be well with my soul eventually. And to top it all off, Wednesday was my wedding anniversary and I completely forgot. I have been so depressed this week. I am better today. I will be even better tomorrow. Like I always say, Grief is a funny animal. It strikes at the oddest times. It takes a while to get over the grieving spell.GOD IS SO
GOOD!!
I have had to take my son to Vanderbilt to see pediatric endocrinology. He is having thyroid issues. They have diagnosed him with a mild form of Albright's like my daughter has. They started him on meds for his thyroid. It evidently just really likes my family.We have been doing a lot of nature related studies due to the beautiful weather we have been having recently.I wish I had a picture but I don't.That is what I am learning as I blog to take more pictures. I have never been a picture taker but now I really do look for moments to capture. I need to get a smartphone but oh well when I get rich I will get one!! lol
I will end with one of my favorite verses in the bible:

Truly my soul waiteth upon God:from him cometh my salvation.
He only is my rock and my salvation;he is my defence;I shall not be greatly moved.
How long will ye imagine mischief against a man?ye shall be slain all of you:as a bowing wall shall ye be, and as a tottering fence.
They only consult to cast him down from his excellency:they delight in lies:they bless with their mouth, but they curse inwardly. Selah. Psalms 62 verses 1-4 KJV

GOD IS SO,SO,SO,SO GOOD!!!!!!

I am so sorry that it has been so long since I have posted a new post. I have been busy trying to get the garden in order, taking care of the kids, etc.. in general life. lol This post is mainly a praise report.

GOD IS SOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD!!!!!
I have been so blessed this week. I have been needing some special products to use to make new recipes and they have been provided to me. I have been provided all my needs this week. I don't know why we worry about anything. GOD provides.  This beautiful weather has me thinking of Ron. I was out in the yard the other day and I was absolutely sure that I saw Ron. Now before anyone thinks that I have really lost it, I know that I didn't really see him.I know it was just a memory but for a few seconds, it was a nice memory. I miss Ron but I know that he is safe with my father.I have been working little bit at a time on my garden. My lettuce is coming up and my lavender is coming up. I am so excited this year about my little garden. It isn't much but it gives me joy and contentment. I truly believe that is all that matters.
I went to Vanderbilt with my son to try and figure out his thyroid issues. The doctor told me that he has a mild form of Albright's. The same genetic disorder that my daughter has. I ask them why it has taken so long for symptoms to crop up and the doctor said because he has a mild case. This disorder is rare. It occurs in 1 in every 200,000 people. Autism is 1 in 88. These are not very good odds indeed but I know someone who can beat all the odds. JESUS CAN!! I KNOW THE ONE WHO CAN HEAL WHEN NO ONE OR NOTHING CAN!!!! JESUS CAN!!

So if you know someone out there who has a special needs child or just a sick child, remember they need your love and above all your prayers.My son is beautiful. MY SON IS AUTISTIC. AUTISM IS PART OF HIM... IT ISN'T WHO HE IS!!!! LEARN TO SEE PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY REALLY ARE AND FOR WHAT THEY CAN REALLY DO.

Memories....

Dealing with Ron's death definitely showed me that I was a lot stronger than I ever thought I could be. I have always been a strong and independent person but there is only so much an individual can take. I realized also that Jesus was oh so closer than I really ever realized. I don't know why it takes such tragedy in our lives for us to realize the depths of the Father's love for us. GOD IS SO GOOD. IN THE GOOD TIMES AND THE BAD!!! I know that I am loved. I am loved by so many people that I could not name them all but from the bottom of my heart, I thank you. I could have never made it through so far this year and I would never have continued to make it.
Today has had me thinking of memories. I met Ron on a July 4th picnic. He was so handsome and he was such a gentlemen. He carried my chair down to where we were going to watch the fireworks and made sure I was comfortable. He was always like that toward me. He took care of me. Ron was old school. He was taught you take care of the women in your life. You think about the needs of others before your own and he usually always did just that!!! Time really does begin to dull the pain of loss. I ache for him in some small way everyday but at least now, I don't think about him everyday. I see him in our children, I see him in the beauty of the things that he has constructed around the house and in the garden. I also see him in the legacy that he left behind. I love my husband and whether I marry again or not, some small part of me will always love him.
As many of you know, Connor is Autistic and he doesn't talk a lot about his dad. We were in the garden the other day and he said"Will you be here when I have my 14th birthday party?" I said"What do you mean will I be here" Connor said"Will you be the d word?" I said" the d word?" Yes like Daddy, Connor stated. I started to put two and two together. He was wanting to know if I was going to be dead like daddy so I couldn't be at his 14th birthday party.Don't ask me why, he began thinking of these things. I pray for him everyday. I have so many unanswered questions about Connor's future. I may not have the answers but I know the one who does have all the answers.I serve a MIGHTY AND GLORIOUS GOD. I SERVE A GOD WHO LOVES ME UNCONDITIONALLY. I SERVE A GOD WHO HOLDS ME IN HIS ARMS AND ALWAYS IS THERE FOR ME.
I know he has great things in store for my precious boy. The key is trying to figure out the combination to Connor's puzzle called Autism!!!!

OH, HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!!!!

I saw this today and thought how blessed my life has been.I would have never had a chance to one day praise my Savior without these three days!! I think about the fact that Ron was a drug addict for so many years and that GOD saved his soul and completely turned his life around. If you think that you have done too many bad things for GOD to forgive you, then you are so very wrong. GOD loves all types of sinners, he just hates sin.
I have worked in my garden for the first time in a while. I finally planted my lettuce today. I worked in the container beds cleaning them out and as I ran my hands through the dirt, it was as if an old friend was calling to me. I felt Ron embracing me and encouraging me every step of the way.I looked around at the final product and it may not look like much to some but to me, it is beautiful. I planted it and cultivated it and I will watch it grow!! I will feel Ron right beside me, in spirit, guiding me with encouragement.

Now, of course, it doesn't look as pretty as when Ron created and planted the garden but it is a work in progress. GOD IS SO GOOD!!! I will post pictures of the garden as it evolves. Ron taught me a lot and now is my chance to use what I have learned in the realm of gardening!! 
I pray that everyone has a Blessed Easter tomorrow!! As everyone celebrates the holiday, remember that without the death and rising of our blessed Savior, we would never have a hope of going to Heaven. 

Visions of Spring dance in my head...

I am so glad for the snow to be over and melting on it's way.Sunshine makes me have visions spring dancing in my head!! Of course, when I think of spring, one can not think of it without thinking of planting in the garden. We had such a beautiful garden last spring. Ron worked so hard planting, making boxes in our garden, hoeing, digging and of course planting!!!
Here are a couple of pictures of Ron's beautiful garden that we had last spring:

Ron had such a green thumb and I could and can kill dirt!!! lol Ron had so many hidden talents and he never really excelled at any of them. I always use the old saying" Jack of all trades and a master of none." When talking about Ron and his abilities!! God is so good!!! GOD gave me this man, if only for a little while, to live off of what he taught me for a lifetime. Today has been hard, I miss Ron today. I love Ron. I at least have the hope of seeing him again someday. I know that he is praising my King!!! I will leave you with a quote that I saw today and I really thought it would be a fitting ending to this post:

My Budding Chefs...

We had a very lazy day Saturday and I let the children fix breakfast. Now don't go into a panic.. My house didn't burn down!!!! I let them make oatmeal in the microwave. I know, I know... I am not a big champion of cooking in the microwave but it is kid proof unless you figure out how to make oatmeal go boom in the microwave but that is another story!!! lol I borrowed a Pampered Chef rice cooker from a dear friend and it has worked wonders making oatmeal in the microwave. My sister who is cringing right now, is screaming at her computer screen"Just make it on top of the stove!!" I have tried for many years to make oey, goey, buttery oatmeal on the stove top to no avail. The first time I tried it in the Pampered Chef rice cooker in the microwave I was hooked.

My children are growing up so fast.. too fast!!! Ron would be proud of them. I am proud of them. It is these impromptu times that you really learn how much they are retaining. You learn a rather humbling lesson sometimes in these quiet moments that GOD allows you to glean... You may teach them but GOD allows them to learn, in all manners of ways!!! GOD IS GOOD!!!

Phew.. What a day!!

I woke up with a major sinus headache so thus I didn't get to go to church this morning which I hated. The kids went with my brother-in-law and I got at least a few hours to try and recuperate. I felt so overwhelmed this morning. My house is a wreck, I look around and see so much spring cleaning that needs to be done and lessons that need to be thought about. I really miss Ron on days like these. When I get really overwhelmed, I read one of my favorite psalms, which is psalms 62.
 Truly my soul waiteth upon GOD:from him cometh my salvation. This is my favorite part because if my soul truly does wait upon GOD then all will be well. From GOD comes my salvation and when we truly realize this, then all really will be well with our souls.I look around at this old house, at all the things that need to be fixed and all the things I could have if I went back to work full time. I realize that yes monetarily I would be well off if I went back to work full time but spiritually we would be bankrupt. My children need me now. I would miss moments when my son draws something really neat and I wouldn't be there for him to say" Look mom" I would miss the thrill of the children finding worms in the backyard. I truly enjoy teaching my children and being home with them. We may not have much by some peoples standards but we have what we need. GOD always takes care of us and provides.
I am taking today off. I really do try to enjoy Sundays. There is so much that we could be doing but I try to remember that when GOD finished his work, he rested on the seventh day!! When Ron was alive, we would go out in the garden and piddle around. As I get older, I would so much rather be outside in the garden or messing around with the flowers. This is so funny, when I was in my 20's my grandmas where alive and I had all that wealth of knowledge at my fingertips and I could have cared less about such things. Now that I am in the stage of life that it does matter, I don't have them here with me anymore on this earth. We should always treasure what you have when you have it, because you never know when it will be gone.
I love to recycle or find something to be re purposed for something else. I have found some really cool things to be re purposed for my garden. I am on the look out for some really cool ideas for the garden.
What is a neat re purposed item that you have come across lately?
I am going to try and acquire some lawn furniture this year. We have always had a hodgepodge of lawn furniture. I have been looking over pinterest lately for DIY ideas. This is my cup of tea.
I have been doing research on natural remedies for treating Autism and ADHD. Does anyone have any recommendations for herbal remedies to treat Autism symptoms and/or ADHD? I have found out dealing with my son that structure and routine are the  key to keeping him from having meltdowns all the time. He still has plenty but he does have less since I have went to a very structured routine, gluten, dairy  and sugar free diet. We use Truvia for our sugar and have for a long time.
We were watching a movie one day and the main character's husband dies and she sold her house and moved away. My son looked at me and said"Momma, why didn't you sell this house and move away when Daddy died?" I thought about it for a minute and then I said"Well, I see your Daddy everywhere I look in this house. At first that is a painful thing but overtimes, it can be a wonderfully comforting thing to be able to see your Daddy everywhere. If we had left then we would never have gotten to enjoy all the things that your Daddy did for us in this house." My point is, that if you run away from something just because it is painful or it hurts to deal with, then you could lose out on one of the biggest joys of your life!! GOD IS GOOD!! He will provide any time all the time!!!
 


This is Ron when we were first married. I love this picture. I give GOD all the glory for his many blessings!! GOD IS GOOD ANY TIME ALL THE TIME!!!

Peace...

I have absolutely loved today. I worked outside in my flower beds and I dreamed of what I was going to plant in the garden here in a couple of weeks. I thank GOD for just having the peace to be able to dream. I can remember a time not so long ago that I couldn't even think about the future. I thanked GOD for putting Ron in my life. Ron taught me so much, so many things that I do today are because of what he taught me. He taught me how to be thrifty, he taught me how to be resourceful and he taught me how to not always have the I wants and to live with what you have. lol 
I met Ron when I was twenty six and he was forty six.Ron was old school. He was almost twenty years older than me and he was raised if you wanted something and you didn't have the money, you either did without or you improvised. He was a master at improvisation. He could take anything and make it look like a million bucks. He was very mechanically inclined and I am not. We just fit together so well. My son is a lot like Ron in that respect. 
I told the kids today that we would be taking Easter break next week and you would have thought Jesus was coming through the clouds!!! I did something this week that I really don't like to do... I bought the kids an Easter basket. I really don't like buying Easter baskets for Easter.Ron started buying them one and it has been a tradition but I have never liked buying them one. It is just a commercialization of Easter.  Now before I get hate mail, let me explain. I don't want my children's emphasis more on the Easter basket than what Easter is about. This is why I don't do Santa clause for Christmas. I want my kids to know the true reasons behind the holidays.Am I the only one who thinks like this? I know there have to be other people out there that have these thoughts?
We had Muffin in a mug for breakfast which is out of the Trim Healthy Mama book that I have been attempting to the best of my abilities to follow. Pearl and Serene the daughters of Nancy that runs Above Rubies have a wonderful book out called Trim Healthy Mama. It is packed full of nutritional recipes, educational information and just all around common sense health information. I love the fact that because we eat gluten free and dairy free, we can still have a lot of the recipes. I am on a Trim Healthy Mama allergy group on facebook and these ladies are fabulous. They will figure out whatever needs to be figured out so that a recipe can be eaten regardless of your allergy.
I am so looking forward to Easter. I was thinking about Easter today as I worked in my flower beds. If Jesus had not rose on that third and glorious day, I would never had been able to see his glorious face in Heave, Ron would have never had any hope nor would anyone else for that matter. GOD knew that without the sacrifice of his one and only son, we would never be clean enough to be able to bask in his presence. OH, what a beautiful thought!!!  Just the thoughts that Ron is in Heaven now singing praises to the King!!!! GOD IS SO GOOD!!!Tomorrow is the Lord's Day and I pray that everyone  have a blessed day praising the Lord. I pray that if you don't know Jesus as your savior, it is never too late. One thing you will never hear come out of a saved persons mouth is"I wished I had never gotten saved." Just always remember...GOD LOVES YOU!!!!There is always hope. I above all people know a thing or too about praying for a lost man. There is always hope!!!!

Loving the silence....

I am sitting in my very comfy chair this morning, drinking my coffee and loving the silence. This is to me the only time of day that I get peace and quiet. lol
I read my bible and have quiet time with GOD at this time.I find this very important to me, because if I miss my quiet time with GOD my spiritual self suffers.When Ron was alive, I tried to be a light to him. He was a new christian and he had just started reading his precious bible he got when he was saved. He was so proud of that Bible. We took it and had his name engraved on it and when the man gave it to him, Ron almost cried. To know where he had been and to see where GOD took him in such a short time, makes me want to have a shouting fit!! GOD IS SO GOOD!!!  
When Ron was alive, if the weather was decent, we would go outside and look over our garden or look over the yard. Ron was a tinker person. He was always doing something. He was constantly planting something or fixing something. It is in the quiet moments, that my mind wonders and I remember...
My memory this morning is when I was pregnant with my daughter. I was so short and so pregnant that I couldn't get onto the bed. Ron made me a simple, very beautiful wooden step stool. That stool meant more to me than if he had bought me a diamond ring. I still have the stool ten years later and it still means more to me than a diamond ring! 
With Ron being gone, I live as frugal as I can to make ends meet. I make my own laundry detergent. I was needing to make some yesterday and I was out of washing soda. I had read One Good Thing by Jillee about a way that you could change baking soda into washing soda by heating in the oven. I tried it and it worked.My clothes came out very clean.I will always keep you abreast of any new frugal idea that comes my way. I know that everyone and their dog is doing frugal living, gluten free, homeschooling living and so am I!!!! lol This is my life. I make no apologies.
I am praying that we have a good day today. We will go to our co-op today and Connor usually does pretty good but he has to stay right next to me. Yesterday, he did so good. We did our Sing,Spell,Read and Write schoolwork without throwing any fits.We did our drawing and he loved it. We use the Draw right now program and he really excels at it. We use Math-u-see for math and he does pretty well. There are other programs that we use also, I just wanted to give you a glimpse at our homeschooling world.
Since my son's diagnosis, I have really changed my teaching approach. I have a loosely adopted a unschooling approach,Using the Bible, mixed with structure and a little bit of Charlotte Mason approach. I know that is a complete oxymoron but it works for us and that is what homeschooling is all about in my opion!!   
I know this has been a long post but I had a lot on my chest this morning. Thanks for stopping by!! GOD IS SO GOOD!! I pray you have a Blessed day!!! 

Here is the rest of the story...

Don't fear the darkness...Be a light!!! Isn't that a beautiful statement. I saw this on a bilboard today.. I have had so much darkness during this journey called grief. I posted my first post yesterday and I thought I would follow up with this post. As Paul Harvey used to say, here is the rest of the story!! 
People are strange. They try to imagine that they know what you are going through but unless you have had a spouse or child die, you don't know what it is like. When Ron died, I felt like a set of nesting dolls. I had a voice inside my head that started screaming and would not stop. I called that voice grief. I then had on top of that voice another voice that would try to figure out how I was going to pay the bills, teach the children, pay the insurance and on and on, etc.. I called these voices worry and strife and then I wrapped all those voices in a neat little package and I got up everyday and I took some Tyleno because grief would not be quite and I made preparations to bury my husband. I thought I was going to lose my mind. My sister gave me some wonderful advice, she told me just five minutes at a time, then thirty minutes then an hour until finally the day is over and maybe grief would let you get some sleep but it didn't, at least, not in the beginning. It has been eight months and I can finally say grief has stopped screaming in my head. GOD IS SO GOOD!! I can make it through a whole day without breaking down. Grief is a strange creature. I can be having a wonderful day and all of a sudden I will hear a song that reminds me of Ron, or I will see something that will trigger a memory and my day is shot.GOD IS GOOD!! When I have those days, I can see GOD with his arms stretched out saying COME TO ME MY CHILD.. YOUR BURDEN IS HEAVY BUT MY YOKE IS LIGHT!!! I had some really, really bad days during the holidays. I had thoughts and emotions a person shouldn't have to deal with but we do at times. GOD IS SO GOOD!! He was there every step of the way.  Now some of you might be saying"What about her kids? How are they handeling this?" My son during Christmas said the sweetest thing. We were sitting in the living room and he said"Momma, do you think Daddy might be having Christmas in Heaven" Without missing a beat, I said"Maybe son" Whatever makes him happy. He doesn't talk a lot about his Dad. He doesn't process his emotions like other kids do. My son is autistic and he is beautiful. Along with Ron dying, I have had to learn a new way to raise and teach my son. He has taught me so much on this ride called life. I have bared my soul on this one but I have done this to show others that they aren't the only ones going through grief. I pray that my blog can be a light to someone... plze don't live in the darkness, it is an awful place to stay. Always remember that we are exceedingly and abundantly blessed!!

Where do I begin....

GOD is so good in all seasons of our lives. We never truly understand this train of thought until we have to utterly rely on him for absolutely everything. This is my first post on my baby blog and I hope that you enjoy it. I love writing and I pray that what I have to say will be a comfort to someone.
For those of you who know me, you know the season that my family is currently in and for those that don't know me, I am in the season of regrowth after death. My husband Ron died on July 11, 2012 in a motor vehicle accident it was his birthday. Ron was my soulmate and I loved him very much. GOD is so good. Ron had only been a christian for about a year. Me and countless others had prayed for this man for years, so if you are praying for someone or for GOD to do something in your life, just know that it is always in his time and not ours.
We had two children under the age of 10. How was I going to take care of them. I am a stay at home mom who homeschools both of the children. GOD is so GOOD. He has provided all of our needs. We never want for anything. We had no car insurance or life insurance. Ron's funeral was paid for completely by donations. GOD IS SO GOOD!! My church and a sister church bought me a van. The vehicle my husband was driving was the only one we had. GOD IS SO GOOD!!
Sometimes I think that the kids are taking his death so much better than I am.We have since found out that Connor my 8 year old has been diagnosed with Autism and ADHD. GOD IS SO GOOD!! I thank GOD for all the trials and tribulations. Now don't get me wrong, I would have my husband back in a hot second, but I wouldn't call him back from where he is now for all the tea in china. But without the trials and tribulations, I would not have grown so much closer to my LORD.
The winter has been hard... but by the GRACE OF GOD I can see the SON and I believe that spring is trying to attempt to raise it's head.
I know that this post has been rattled but stay with me. I just want people to understand that GOD IS ALWAYS WITH YOU IN THE SEASONS OF YOUR LIFE!! I will tell you the last thing that my wonderful husband told me on the day that he died... WE ARE EXCEEDINGLY AND ABUNDANTLY BLESSED! Thanks for reading my little post and I give GOD all the praise.